How do you use your typewriter? [Wrong Answers Only Edition]

It’s really an over-asked question: What do you use your typewriter for?. (tl;dr: writing). To make things more interesting and entertaining in the middle of the week, let’s turn it on its ear and ask only for the wrong answers today.

Whether it’s use in food preparation:

Throw a slab of steak into the segment and pound away for a bit until well tenderized. Then insert into oven at 400 degrees F until it’s medium rare and you’ve got some excellent typebar grill marks.

Environmental reasons:

Creation of new coral reefs for the fishes (aka 1930s Norwegian Typewriter Olympics: Shot put competition)

Or attempting to cleverly camouflage your 57th machine acquisition from your partner:

When you’ve got too many and you need them to be useful in other ways, you turn a Royal KMM into a decorative door stop.

Send us your favorite personal uses for typewriters… Wrong answers only.