The Rules for Typewriter Club

The first rule of Typewriter club is do not oil the segment.

The second rule of Typewriter club is DO NOT OIL THE SEGMENT.

Do not ask the value of a typewriter. They are all invaluable.

The only rare typewriter is a an unloved typewriter.

Always talk about typewriter club. Every chance you get. To family, friends, acquaintances, complete strangers…

If you’re new to typewriter club, you have to type.

Any reason is a good reason to buy and use a typewriter.

If you have only one typewriter, you must refer to it as “my FIRST typewriter”.

More than one machine is allowed to be your “favorite”.

The last typewriter you bought is the greatest one. Until the next one.

Never leave a typewriter outside, in a barn, or in a damp basement to rust.

Typewriters are to type with. While they can be used as mood-setting decor, they are meant to be used.

Always leave a typewriter in better condition than you found it.

“The hardest part of typewriter repair is believing you can do it. Everything else is just instructions plus a careful, thoughtful hand.” —Rt. Rev. Theodore Munk

A typewriter is not broken unless it is clean and broken.

We form things; we do not “bend” them.

Parts of a typewriter should only be removed permanently in order to repair another typewriter.

If you see a typewriter, you should take photos and upload the details to the Typewriter Database for other typewriter lovers.

The only acceptable way to dispose of a typewriter is to find it a new home. The only exception is in dire circumstances in time of war when one should follow the guidance of the Underwood manual and “Smash typewriters and components with a sledge or other heavy instrument; burn with kerosene, gasoline, fuel oil, flame thrower, or incendiary bomb; detonate with firearms, grenades, TNT, or other explosives.”

If anyone asks you about your typewriter, you must spend at least five minutes talking to them about it.

Blessed are those who give typewriters to children for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Trustworthy and legitimate typewriter sellers never use the phrases “it works” or “it just needs a new ribbon.”

Remember that typewriters are dangerous. They can be used for samizdat. As Woody Guthrie knew: “This machine kills fascists.”

The Typewriter Database does not list every single serial number, just ranges of numbers and years in which they were made. You are responsible for reading the charts and for figuring out which year your serial number fits into.

Keychoppers shall have the extremities they used to chop keys chopped off.

“In death, they have a name.” Lenore Fenton. Lenore Fenton. Lenore Fenton!

Special thanks to the Typewriter Club friends at r/typewriters.