Watched A Royal Christmas Ball (2017) from Hallmark Movies

Directed by David DeCoteau. With Tara Reid, Ingo Rademacher, Mira Furlan, Haley Pullos. Dateless for the Christmas ball, 39-year-old bachelor, King Charles of Baltania, tracks down his American college sweetheart, only to discover Allison has never been married, yet raised a 17-year-old daughter, Lily, who mathematically might be Charles’ biological princess.

Rating: ½

I didn’t think there could be a worse Hallmark Christmas movie than the one saw yesterday. This was an order of magnitude worse.

It did have an interesting Christmas tradition of creating a custom ornament each year to commemorate the year much like the Lakota winter counts. I’ve seen references to these types of decorations before, but it’s rare to see them represented as a recurring thing.

Baltania, what a great name for a generic non-existent European country.

The animated gilded book page turning and sparkles with voice overs were appallingly bad. I think that almost every bit of footage they shot for the film got used twice. The production value was atrocious. The casting was painfully drunk. The green screen work was pure misery and I’m fairly certain a 9 year old could do a better job using Zoom right now.