Read A fictitious, somewhat farcical conversation between me and the JavaScript programming language (littleyellowdifferent.substack.com)

Ernie: Hey, JavaScript. JavaScript: Oh. It’s you. E: Yeah. So it’s been a while. JS: Oh. It has. E: I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. You know how it goes; it’s just been super busy the past couple of years. Being a manager at all of that. JS: Mm-hmm.

This is pretty hilarious and oh so true.