Jeremy, if this is the response an agent and publishers have given you and you’re even remotely considering the self-publishing route, please do let me volunteer to help you in the endeavor. I have a tremendous amount of experience in the publishing area and also have a lot of overhead (including a massive block of ISBNs) in place to help you out along the way.
It’s the least I could do since I feel like I may be at least partially responsible for starting you down the primrose path of Our Daily Bread… I also suspect that what you’d like to write is going to be far more interesting and nourishing a project.