📺 Christmas at Pemberley Manor | Hallmark Channel

Watched Christmas at Pemberley Manor from Hallmark Channel
Directed by Colin Theys. With Jessica Lowndes, Michael Rady, Cole Gleason, Maddie McCormick. Loosely based on Pride and Prejudice, event planner Elizabeth Bennet is initially at odds with Mr. Darcy, the owner of Pemberley Manor, which she intends to be the venue of her next event, but soon finds herself irresistibly attracted to him.
This new Christmas movie premiered today. Just as treacle-y as you’d imagine.

I ought to map out a plotline of dos and don’ts for these movies as they’re quite formulaic.

Here’s a start:
A first kiss should be interrupted at least twice.
Women should have lost their first loves or spouses in natural accidents (car crashes or the like) so that they’re “pure”.
Someone in the film should be named Darcy.
Casting should feature one or more pseudo-stars from more than a decade prior. Everyone else should be complete unknowns.
Bonus points if casting can be done in Canada.
Solid working character actors should be eschewed at all costs.
Unlike standard romantic comedies, the “best friend” should never be the funny, comic relief.
Even when the plot is clearly open for it, the lead female should never be forward to get what she wants. She should always be able to retreat to have the man “win” her.
The big ending should feature fake snow falling.
Blatant rip-offs of plots of popular books and movies should be encouraged, but this should be heavily downplayed with the plot significantly weakened and overly-Americanized for the 1950’s. Example: “Die Hard meets Father Knows Best with a healthier helping of Christmas–and no guns.”

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Chris Aldrich

I'm a biomedical and electrical engineer with interests in information theory, complexity, evolution, genetics, signal processing, IndieWeb, theoretical mathematics, and big history. I'm also a talent manager-producer-publisher in the entertainment industry with expertise in representation, distribution, finance, production, content delivery, and new media.

2 thoughts on “📺 Christmas at Pemberley Manor | Hallmark Channel”

  1. Watched Crown for Christmas from Hallmark Channel

    Directed by Alex Zamm. With Danica McKellar, Rupert Penry-Jones, Ellie Botterill, Pavel Douglas. After getting fired from her job as a maid at a ritzy New York City hotel, Allie reluctantly accepts a temporary gig as the governess to a young girl who is part of a powerful family in Europe that lives in a castle.

    Continuing on with our formulaic list:
    If possible, the title should completely give away at least the entire plot if not the ending.

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  2. Replied to Deviance and Hallmark Christmas Movies by Tressie McMillan Cottom (tressiemc)

    The title is click-bait. If you follow me on That Social Media site you know two things about me: I love Dolly Parton and I am mad for Hallmark Christmas movies. As the former goes without saying, …

    I’ve got the same Hallmark  Channel Christmas movie affliction. I’ve created a list of common Hallmark Movie “things” that I often use as a drinking game, but as you highlight, I really ought to have it as a larger Bingo card. I’ll have to start working on it soon though as I expect this year’s “Countdown to Christmas” will start sometime just after Labor Day.
    I do wish you had the time to write the Hallmark Christmas movie book–it would make a fascinating read. I’ll bite at the question about why the “dead parent” is your favorite, but I’d be more interested in your take on the premier of this past years’ Memories of Christmas which breaks some of the traditional molds. Like all the rest of their originals, I’m sure(?) they’ll rerun it in subsequent years.
    It turns out I know two of the writers of the Memories of Christmas production. At least one of them mentioned a Hallmark Movie “playbook” though she didn’t indicate if it was one internally created by the network or if it was her own as I suspect that she’s got the same affliction some of us other “fans” do.

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