Why bother with h-shitpost?! This should parse without any additional work:

<div class="h-entry">
  <time class="dt-published">2017-01-20</time>: 
  <p class="p-content">I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.</p>
  <span class="p-author">Donald John Trump</span>
  <span class="p-category">shitpost</span>
</div>

😉