I’m brainstorming ways of describing art museum guards.  Art museum security guardArt protectorGallery attendantLaw enforcementMuseum access controlMuseum patrolMuseum protectorObserver of visitorsParcel inspectorPolicy enforcerPreventer of suspicious actionsPreventer of touchingProper propriety maintainerProperty guardProtection services officerSecuritySecurity officerVandalism deterrent My favorite might be the last one, Vandalism deterrent. It’s so true, but also feels so odd to describe that …