The first rule of Typewriter club is do not oil the segment.
The second rule of Typewriter club is DO NOT OIL THE SEGMENT.
Do not ask the value of a typewriter. They are all invaluable.
The only rare typewriter is a an unloved typewriter.
Always talk about typewriter club. Every chance you get. To family, friends, acquaintances, complete strangers…
If you’re new to typewriter club, you have to type.
Any reason is a good reason to buy and use a typewriter.
If you have only one typewriter, you must refer to it as “my FIRST typewriter”.
More than one machine is allowed to be your “favorite”.
The last typewriter you bought is the greatest one. Until the next one.
Never leave a typewriter outside, in a barn, or in a damp basement to rust.
Typewriters are to type with. While they can be used as mood-setting decor, they are meant to be used.
Always leave a typewriter in better condition than you found it.
“The hardest part of typewriter repair is believing you can do it. Everything else is just instructions plus a careful, thoughtful hand.” —Rt. Rev. Theodore Munk
A typewriter is not broken unless it is clean and broken.
We form things; we do not “bend” them.
Parts of a typewriter should only be removed permanently in order to repair another typewriter.
If you see a typewriter, you should take photos and upload the details to the Typewriter Database for other typewriter lovers.
The only acceptable way to dispose of a typewriter is to find it a new home. The only exception is in dire circumstances in time of war when one should follow the guidance of the Underwood manual and “Smash typewriters and components with a sledge or other heavy instrument; burn with kerosene, gasoline, fuel oil, flame thrower, or incendiary bomb; detonate with firearms, grenades, TNT, or other explosives.”
If anyone asks you about your typewriter, you must spend at least five minutes talking to them about it.
Blessed are those who give typewriters to children for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Trustworthy and legitimate typewriter sellers never use the phrases “it works” or “it just needs a new ribbon.”
Remember that typewriters are dangerous. They can be used for samizdat. As Woody Guthrie knew: “This machine kills fascists.”
The Typewriter Database does not list every single serial number, just ranges of numbers and years in which they were made. You are responsible for reading the charts and for figuring out which year your serial number fits into.
Keychoppers shall have the extremities they used to chop keys chopped off.
“In death, they have a name.” Lenore Fenton. Lenore Fenton. Lenore Fenton!
Special thanks to the Typewriter Club friends at r/typewriters.
There are no rules in Typewriters, rules are a figment of your imagination.
Typewriters are almost infinite, as is the euphoria gleaned from their acquisition and use.
But I see where you’re going with this, and like the cut of your jib.
While there may well be more rules, this is a great (and amusing) start!
Thank you. Thank you.
Using a typewriter is the best kind of maintenance :3
I love this, but I think the Rules should fit on one page (or less). In order to do this some of the rules would have to go, and others would need to be more general, but perhaps there is a way that in generality they can be more encompassing?
Also, shouldn’t one of the rules be that you must retype for yourself the Rules?
This is wonderful!
Admittedly I do need to make an account in the twdb. Otherwise I follow these rules quite well!
This post should be pinned!
I love this! Going to type this up ASAP! Thanks for sharing.
Send this to Richard Polt. He’ll love it.
https://site.xavier.edu/polt/typewriters/contact.html
This is awesome. Man, the lure of a manual typewriter has been calling to me… https://boffosocko.com/2025/05/24/the-rules-for-typewriter-club/
Because I’m an enabler: https://boffosocko.com/2025/03/29/first-time-typewriter-purchases-with-specific-recommendations-for-writers/
Amazing
Great list, Chris! All good …
EXCEPT that nonsense about writing “form” when you mean “bend”—this is just embarrassing twee jargon.
This comes from some old service manuals, Smith-Corona, I think, and maybe some others, too, and it feels like a self-conscious attempt to make the trade seem a little special. I notice that now every time someone writes “form” they feel the need to parenthetically clarify to readers that they really mean “bend”. It’s like an instruction in the rite of passage for newbies into some cult. I think you should remove that pathetic rule and make the world a better place.
Otherwise, good job.
That rule about ‘any reason is a good reason’ would that applied to someone buying a typewriter that would only serve as a prop in the background