Microbiology and Eternal Life (A Short Play)

RNA: Grant me eternal life.
Genie: That’s not in my power to give.
RNA: Grant me then at least a wish?
Genie: (laughing) One wish?
RNA: Yes, only one.
Genie: Go ahead…
RNA: (with great wile and guile) Make me thrifty.
Genie: (with a cherry nod and a wink) Granted!
RNA: Thank you!

…and the RNA lived forever after.

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Meaning according to Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty (in a rather scornful tone): When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more or less.
Alice: The question is, whether you can make a word mean so many different things?
Humpty Dumpty: The question is, which is to be master – that’s all.
Alice: (Too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again)
Humpty Dumpty: They’ve a temper, some of them – particularly verbs, they’re the proudest – adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs – however, I can manage the whole of them! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!
Alice: Would you tell me, please what that means?
Humpty Dumpty (looking very much pleased): Now you talk like a reasonable child. I meant by impenetrability that we have had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you’d mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don’t mean to stop here all the rest of your life.
Alice (in a thoughtful tone): That’s a great deal to make one word mean.
Humpty Dumpty: When I make a word do a lot of work like that, I always pay it extra.
Alice (too much puzzled to make any other remark): Oh!
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The Response of the Schoolmaster

This must certainly be the quote of the week from English author Alan Bennett’s play Forty Years On:

Foster: I’m still a bit hazy about the Trinity, sir.
Schoolmaster: Three in one, one in three, perfectly straightforward.  Any doubts about that see your maths master.